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0:00 Shahrukh Khan was interviewed a few years ago and he was asked how he felt when people were saying that he was the king of India. Shahrukh Khan said that he was very sad that people were saying this because he was the king of India and not of India but of the world. The confidence that Shahrukh Khan had was there from the beginning. When Govinda came on Kapil Sharma's show, Govinda said that friend, Shahrukh Khan had realized this at such a young age, it took us many years to understand it and that message was to love yourself and have confidence in yourself. Along with this, there is a very famous example of Honey Singh. When Honey Singh was leaving, I went to Shahrukh Khan. Shahrukh Khan was telling me the story of Chennai Express. Now what happened was that we had a flight. I told Shahrukh Bhai that I have to go. He said no, listen to the whole story. First, Honey Singh was about four to five hours late for his flight, but when he reached there, he came to know that Shahrukh Khan had
0:45 delayed his flight. Now Shahrukh Khan cannot delay everyone's flight. There must have been contacts from that particular Dubai flight but the point is that when they have confidence, they also project that confidence on people i.e. they tell them that I can do this thing, imagine you are on stage, there are 300 people on the stage and you have to give a presentation, you have a mic in your hand and there is a very big screen behind you, you are going to give a presentation in front of so many people, your hands are shaking, you are sweating and you don’t know whether you will be able to give your presentation properly or not, you hear a voice from within that yaar I should not give a presentation directly in front of 300 people, first I should have started with 10-15 people, I should wait, first I should gain confidence, your name and your presentation
1:30 topic are announced but you have not come on the stage yet, you wait for 1 minute, 2 minutes, 2.5 minutes, you feel that first I will gain confidence, after that I will go, you start getting a little more anxious, start getting stressed and The audience is a little concerned that why is he not coming on stage? All these negative thoughts come to your mind but you think to hell with everything, you pick up the mic and go on stage and start your speech, Hi my name is Hemant Pant and I am from Himachal Pradesh, you deliberately speak loudly so that you get that confidence and after that you get lost in your content, in your first slide and people also listen to your content with great interest and after 15 minutes your presentation is over and everyone claps for you, this
2:17 concept has been explained very beautifully in the book The Confidence Gap, it means that you always have two options, option one you think that friend first I should get confidence, then I will work, I will take action and option two you think that first I will take action and after that I will get confidence and the second option is the right one, this is the confidence gap You are standing here, there is a bridge in the middle and confidence is on the other side, confidence will come when you walk there and work hard, if you believe in the first theory, then you will never be able to become a confident guy, imagine you have a friend whose name is Raj, but one of his posts gets 10000 likes,
3:02 many comments come, you think that this is what life is like, one day you meet Raat and tell him that your life is great, every post you put up gets 10000 likes, you are so famous, you must be feeling so good, your friend says no friend, it is not like that, you are feeling all this, just recently I had put up a reel without filter and it has very few likes, I have started feeling that I get happiness only when I get likes, I do n't know what happened to my life and then you remember this video and you tell him this lesson from the Confidence Gap book, see, self-acceptance is a super There is power and we understand this thing only when we understand the value of time. One second, I will show you something. See, this timer is a very interesting serial extension. Its name is Death Clock. It tells you how many years you have lived in life till now.
3:49 Now, here you see, I have lived almost 36 years of life and the dots here are very white in the beginning and after that they are getting light, that means you can drop anytime. So, imagine this time. These are coins. You are giving each coin, each ball to someone. It means that you are giving the remote control of your life to someone that you will be happy and sad when he wants. And if you take this concept very seriously, then all this stress and the likes, comments of impressing people, all this will go away and you will start accepting yourself as it is. You will say that whoever accepts me is my friend, otherwise everything can go to hell. And your confidence will go away from this. There will be a complete change. No matter how big the influencers are these days,
4:35 people are able to connect more with them. Those who are not forcibly showing off have accepted their own personality. Remember your childhood days. Imagine you are playing street cricket with your friends. You were fighting with your friends about your batting. I have told you that I will go for the next batting because only I can win this match. We had a different kind of confidence. If friends refused, we would convince them. It is not how illogical these arguments were. It was that we felt we could do anything. Now imagine yourself, if you are in a job and you are with your boss. Even if you have a good idea, then also
5:21 thousands of filters are already applied to tell that idea to someone. Who knows, this idea may be stupid. Everyone may laugh at me. Everyone may reject me. Should I tell my idea or not? We get so much stress in every small thing. We get into a situation where we feel that now someone will shoot us. I still remember that I had a friend in B.Tech who had three holes in the match M1, M2, M3 and we had reached the seventh semester. He was feeling that he would not be able to clear the three Maths subjects. He was saying that no friend, he cannot clear these holes as the last semester is left. I said why ca n't he clear them. He said no friend, he would not be able to clear all the three holes. There are such thick books and Maths is a weak subject for me anyway. So I told him that how will he not clear them. We both will work hard together. Whatever I know, I will tell you. It will be cleared. And he cleared the holes of all the three holes. Even the teachers were surprised that how did he clear all the three holes while he was
6:08 giving exams for the subjects of the regular semester. Now obviously he did not clear any IAS, IPS exams. But the thing is that at that time, we had a lot of confidence that we can do anything. And now I remember that when I was in the government department, When I got the job, at that time when I had to leave that job, I was not able to tell my family that I have to leave the job. I thought that they would think what to do, so they have to start up. I got confused in the startup. And recently when I thought,
7:02 imagine that you apply for a new job. The day of the interview has come. Now you are sitting in the reception area of the office. You are waiting for your turn. You are feeling scared from inside. Should I actually go for the interview? What will happen if they reject me? This interview is very important for you. That is why the fear is also increasing a lot. Confidence has become zero. You think that I have to answer every question perfectly. Because of which we come under more pressure. And then you say to yourself, who knows, I am not ready yet. Leave it, I will cancel this interview. I will go to the next interview after preparing. And you start going back. Now the main question comes that what to do in this situation. And for this There is a principle which we have to use which is called DARE where D means Diffuse Yourself from Negative Thoughts. It means that our thoughts are
7:47 not us. We have to separate ourselves from our thoughts and that can happen only when we come to one side i.e. Accept Discomfort. We have to accept that it is okay that negative thoughts are going on in our mind. Label it, name it and say yes, it is natural to have fear and discomfort means that I do something for growth. Any successful entrepreneur says this that if you are not afraid, then brother, your game is very short. Then comes step three R which means set realistic goals. You do not think that I have to give a perfect answer to every question. You think that I will give the best answer to every question and finally comes E i.e. Embrace Your Value. You go behind Y that why are you giving this interview? I am applying for this job because I want to learn or I want to grow and achieve something for my family.
8:34 If this interview doesn't happen, I am not going to give up because I know that success is the only thing that lies ahead in my life. And when we think in this way, we can take action very confidently. So, I will summarize this entire video for you. In the first step, we saw the definition of confidence gap. There is a gap in confidence, in the middle of which there is a bridge. You are standing here and there is confidence on that side. It is not that there is confidence on this side of the bridge and then you will walk on the bridge. First, you will walk on that side, then you will get confidence. So, action will happen first and then confidence will come after that. In the next step, we saw that self- acceptance leads to confidence. When we think that I am a constant, the rest of the world is variable, that is, I will remain the way I am. Now, this does not mean that I should do wrong things. It means
9:21 that I will not change my personality for you. So, when I become constant and the rest of the world is variable, then I will remain the same. If it is a variable then I start accepting myself and that increases my confidence. When I think that the world is a constant, I will have to change according to their choice. Today I will have to wear a black sweater, today red is trending, so today I will have to wear red and so on. So these things reduce self-acceptance, due to which the confidence also decreases. Then we saw that a child is more confident as compared to a mature person because he does not hesitate and if we just appreciate that thing, if that quality was good, then that quality will gradually come in us. If we call myself negative at all, then our mind will already start separating us from that quality. Then in the last point we saw the concept of dare, in which we saw that first of all separate yourself from your thoughts
10:08 and how will that happen, by just naming that thing and labeling it that yes I am feeling that I am scared, but the fear that is when there is discomfort, that is the sign of growth. If I am not feeling uncomfortable, then the game of my life is very short. When you think with this thinking model, then you start liking the discomfort. The fear means that I am doing something. And then we saw Embrace Your Values, that is, go towards your Y, why am I actually doing all these things and if my intent is positive, then I will not give up. One attempt, two attempts, 10 attempts, 20 attempts, as long as I have life in me, I will get up every time, I will take that punch and get up again. So, I have told you all these things from the book The Confidence Gap. If you want to read more than 200 free book series in Hindi for free, then you
10:54 can download the Gag application. Gag is my lifelong work. I hope you will like it. If you like our free work and after that you take a subscription, then more than 1500 book summaries are unlocked and every week we add one free book summary and Six trees add summary I hope this video helped you see you in the next video Jai Hind
