"DEEP QUESTIONS" | Psychologist Reacts to Sister Wives Season 19 Tell All #3

0:00 Welcome back. Hi. We missed you because you you you missed the last episode. I know. I feel bad about that. You know what? Every all of the fans I was hoping they would be like saying, you know, she needs to get it together. Why isn't she focused? But they all said, "Good for her getting some sleep." So there you I think it's cuz my hand is broken and my body. Oh. Oh, you know, you always there's a question you always want me to start these by asking you. How did your tennis match go? I lost. Oh, no. I also think it's a dark day in the Colarosi house. I also think I came in dead last in my bike race. Oh yeah, we went to the GoPro games which were in Veil and they are a lot of fun. You and

0:47 I both did the bike race and I ran the 10K. I don't think I was like I think it all seemed like a good idea, but it it didn't occur to me that I would be doing black diamond single track down on the bike race. I But I did just so you know, I did tell you that's what it was. I'm not sure I really understood it until we were on it. Yeah, it was intense. It was Allison is just learning how to ride a mountain bike and so it was I think we I think it was very good I genuinely think it was very good for the kids to see you compete like that. I don't think you broke any land speed records but I think it was really good for the kids to see you right persevere and learn

1:33 something new. I had a good outfit though. Really did. I don't know if I can put a picture up of it but like Allison A Allison shops, this is so unrelated to sust have to say it. Allison shops via Instagram and if she finds an outfit that she thinks is cute on Instagram, she assumes that that's like mainstream. So Allison has this hot pink onesie mountain biking outfit. And if you we rode a race, I don't know, I'm going to guess that there was let's just call it a hundred people racing. There was only one person in a bright pink outfit that that with a co it's bright pink and it has a like it has a

2:19 collar on it. I don't know what it is. It is not a mountain biking outfit, but it is a mountain. It's a mountain biking online store called Shredley. Okay. But just because and they sell it at REI. Just because Shredley serves you ads doesn't mean that it's a mountain biking. It's definitely not mainstream mountain biking. But she wears it proudly and you cannot tell her. nor can she receive context clues to tell her that it's not like a typical mountain biking outfit outfit. I have never been a conformist and you know that there's not one part of me that conforms to others. I felt like the outfit was on brand for me. It was it it was I'll I'll find a way to put a picture up of it. All right. Okay. Sister wives, you ready? Oh, I do have two things to talk about. One, somebody messaged me on

3:06 Instagram and they think that Janelle watches based on this episode that we're going to watch now. They think that Janelle uh watches our show. So, we'll see. We'll see. Let's see if you think that Janelle's referring to us. Do you think Janelle likes us like we like her? Probably not. Dang it. Well, I don't know. I think we're we're I think we're good to Janelle. No, I'm good to Janelle. I'm good to Janelle. Whatever. Uh let's see if she if we think she's watching it. And then the other thing is we are doing you and I are going to do uh reactions to the old Sister Wives episode starting with season 1 and we're going to post them on our membersonly channel. Okay. So if you are interested in that, if you go to our channel page,

3:54 uh there's a button that says join and you should join and you'll get that content. Sounds good. Okay. So, the big question is, well, why were the lots divided up that way in the first place? So, I haven't seen all of that, and I just saw where he said, "Lilically, I don't have to have their approval. That doesn't make me happy." I just feel like Mary's had her head in the sand about this. I think Janelle kind of knew and was like, "Why isn't Mary standing up for herself? I better tell her that she deserves at least one quarter of this. I'm going to in her soul, I feel like this is Janelle being like, in my soul, Mary, you need to fight for this." But you never hear Robin say that and you never hear Christine say that she But you definitely hear Janelle be like, "I will not feel good about myself unless I

4:41 tell you you need to fight for this." And why Mary had to be told and and when and I don't know if you remember, but when Janelle did that, Mary didn't trust her. Mhm. I hope she trusts her now. Yeah, I think she does. I mean, I think the the bottom line is that Mary put herself in that position because she was trying to please Cody and she had convinced herself that Cody had her best interest at heart. And I think she had to do that because if she acknowledged the truth, it would be devastating. I think it is devastating for her to imagine that she's been in a relationship with Cody for this long, someone that has treated her so poorly for this long. So, I think like psychologically she had to act like it's fine. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think Robin's selfish. And so while she's she reports that

5:28 she's well intended, I think she makes selfish decisions. But they're not legally married, so they don't have any legal grounds to anything really except this one thing that their name's wrong. I know, but there still was a disparity. I know, but there's still a disparity. It's interesting. That is a weird like he goes she's like legally they're not obligated to anything. And he's like, "I know, but there's still this disparity. Like, they still want something. You wouldn't believe it." I don't know why Janelle allowed like Cody and Robin when she was the bookkeeper to take more money. Well, I I I imagine that the mindset was that we all have that we all have to

6:13 sort of trust the system that we're living in. You know what I mean? like they trust like she trusted Christine to take care of her kids while she worked and Christine trusted Janelle to go you know I think that they had to make you know you have Mary that is getting divorced from Cody trusting that it's the what's right for her like they there I think in order for this to work you have to really trust each other and trusting Cody and Robin that was it bit him you know the point but she said she didn't get any help in return that she put her kids her kid through college. Um, we all help pay for Mary's house. Okay. You sort of You sort of We all help pay for Mary's house.

7:01 She was renting her house in Flagstaff. So, no, you didn't. I was trying to straighten out a mess. Yeah. That I was handed to by Janelle. She had a different perspective before her and I broke up about how things should be. What is he saying? I don't understand what he's saying. I feel like this is when you can like I feel like when he doesn't know how to um respond to a question, he like talks nonsensical so we are all like what? But like we're all on to you. You you've just tried to confuse us to not say so you don't have to say anything. Well, I mean he definitely confused me. That's for sure. He said nothing. He's attacked all of his wives that are leaving in the area that hurts them the most. For Christine, it was devastating that he wasn't physically attracted to her. I'm one of

7:48 those people who wants to be very fiscally responsible. That's super interesting. That's exactly right. That is what he's doing. Mhm. That that is very perceptive of of Janelle. Same with Mary. I just didn't I didn't I never loved her. It's the same, right? He just wants Yeah. What she wants more than anything is to feel connected. Yeah. master narcissist or master manipulator. Let's be honest about what actually was happening. It's okay to say, "Well, he was really good at this or she was really good at this." Aren't you doing any of that? You said none of that. It's always the we did something. No, in your mind, no one was good at anything. It's always we we all did this. What did you do, Robin?

8:33 How are you doing? Do you use the word narcissist? Are you saying Cody's a narcissist? No, I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I read pop culture. I have no idea. But it does seem like there's quite a lot of similarities. That was the line that someone thought was that that she listened to us. Oh, I don't think so. No. Sadly, that was not that I don't think I don't think so. When he married Robin, that's where I was like, "Oh, there definitely is something missing here." It was already like so almost over. Anyway, hold on. He sister the sister wives as a show started when Cody married Robin. That was like episode number one, right? Or episode number two. I don't remember. But I but I do remember she was very

9:21 pregnant. So truly when Robin came in, but it was season one for sure. Okay. If it's season one and she's saying we were almost over season she's she's essentially saying Cody and I had no relationship starting at season one of Sister Wives. Mhm. Well, that's not what they were saying over the last 12 years, right? Doesn't that then imply that there was a lot of acting for TLC? I think there probably was a lot of acting for TLC. I couldn't imagine like trying to raise six kids by myself and watching him with a new wife. You you with a newborn baby. There's a lot. Okay. So, okay, hold on.

10:07 So, you're thinking it's Christine acting for TLC or for the audience or for Cody even. You don't think it's TLC telling Christine, act like you love him? Yeah. The first one, I hate to say this, but in the beginning of your marriage, you were physically um taken care of. It was just an act. Just an act. And how did that you just know it's different? Like we just use each other. It didn't mean anything. Was it like Suki really wants like it was? I've I've I've I've critiqued S I've critiqued Suki in the past for not asking enough questions. But here, Suki, feel free to dial it back on the

10:54 She was. Wait, so you so you were you were getting it in, but it was just physical. Yeah. What' that feel like? Well, it just felt like we were using each other. Oh, you're using what that feel like. It's one too many. What that feel like? Right. Yeah. There was just a need. Just a physical need that was met. It was an obligation. A marital obligation to do this. Us. God, it was just so broken. It was broken. Did you ever say, "Cody, this sucks." She's asking too many sex questions, right? Why are you being such a prude? All right. Go, I guess. Go Suki. I don't know. When I left Cody, I decided that I was going to have sex with the guy that I'd be married to. Like full on it was going

11:40 to happen. You know, we were going to make love first. David. Oh my god. He must He's like, "Why are we talking about this?" And she's like, "I was before I settled into a relationship. I'd like to have sex." I don't care who the person is. We're starting with the sex. I mean, you can can you can be very attracted to someone, but like maybe they're not the best for you in life, right? There's like 100%. 100. Yes. Uh but and and I always ad I should say I always advise people if you have a bad track record where you're picking the wrong person, if your picker is broken, do not pick people that you lust after. You should instead pick

12:26 people that you that you intellectually connect with and allow the lust to to grow. That be that wedding one. Um, probably is. It's a good one. It's a good one. I'm always for it. You're making me laugh. I do like the that he's like I'd give it to her. Yeah. What of it? E. We kiss and we hug in front of our kids and David and I just don't care. Can I hit you? I'm done. Yeah. What do you That pause looks like Cody's gonna Nothing. You think Cody? What? Yeah. What do you think, Cody? He's like trying to laugh about it. He's like,

13:12 No, I do not think. Do you think you think Cody cares? I don't know. Look at his face. What's he supposed to do? What's the right expression to have? I don't know. I I have to be honest though. The the deep throat tongue kissing in front of her kids I think is too much. What do you think? You do that. I do not do that. You try to I do not do that. I'm cutting that out. You do try to. Did you feel like she was starved to express Oh, yeah. She needed the affection. You're starving. Yes. what she needed I could give to her. Is he talking about his No, affection. Snuggles.

13:59 I don't think that they were talking about snuggles. I've got the kiss cam on you and it just comes very naturally. I mean, I just it does feel adolescent to me. I know that Christine's Christine thinks that it's this is who I always was or who I am and I want to express myself and yeah, she's expressing herself a little bit like an adolescent does. It's it's a bit over the top. I don't have a problem with PDA. I think that I want to have somebody who is comfortable with that. What's the limit? Describe like what you're okay with and what you're not okay with. Are we are people interested in this? This is like miles from what I care about. Is this interesting? No.

14:46 I I just like Robin's response to the whole thing was really annoying to me. Why? I don't know. You just You want You want to expand on that a little bit? I I can't figure out why. It was always uncomfortable and awkward. It still is now with him and Robin because I feel like now it's almost like I'm throwing it in your face and I don't like that. I'm I'm struggling to find interest like like I'm trying to trying to conjure up something to say but I'm sort of like okay I don't Suki is really diving deep on this and I just don't know if we need to be this deep. You felt like you didn't have a voice or a say in in the family. Oh I was told I didn't have a say. I was told that I needed to conform to what they were doing cuz I Wait, that

15:31 feels totally reasonable. If you're the if you're the fourth wife in the family, then you should I mean, you're you should be a culture ad. You should not be a culture disruptor. Mhm. You know, who do you think she's trying to insinuate told her notine? Yeah, me too. I think that her some beef her and Cody are like they're on the precipice of talking magic about Christine. I'm ready for and they're trying hard not to. Come on, do it. The last time Robin and I showed PDA with the family, we got kicked out. You got kicked out? I'm not going there. Yeah, they with us bad. They what? I think he said they with us badly.

16:17 They they purposely panned off of him when he said it so that you couldn't read his lips. So, I'm guessing it was they with us. Yeah. I also feel like this every time like he wants to say a lie, he goes, "Oh, I'm not going there." But it's like it's like he's dangling a carrot in front of us. But I'm kind of been I'm kind of like whatever, Cody. No one kicked you out. Okay. They're always like, "Come sleep at my house. My turn. My turn, Cody. No one kicked you up. Come on. It's a story that just cannot be told. Oh, I I don't understand. He He does this thing where it's like, I could never do that because this really big thing happened. Well, what is

17:02 it? Can't tell you. It's like this constant. We're at a tell all, but I won't tell. Yeah, we're at a tell all. Well, this is a tell not. When true love is exposed, it calls down wrath. And it's like the world hates true love so much. I hate when he talks like that. When true love is exposed, it calls down wrath. Like he either read that, he read that somewhere, he read it. That is not that is not original. Shrek. It is probably it's what Donkey said, but it's not it just it's so it's like discordant off of Cody's natural speech and cadence and all of a sudden he's like, you know,

17:50 getting all biblical about it. I know this isn't goodbye, but [Music] I know I'll still see you. Mary's like, "What the Mary's like?" And Janelle is or Christine is like, "Oh my god." Just feels histrionic. Why do you think it was so hard for Robin to see you leaving at that moment? I think that she realized that what she was wanting and what she was expecting when she came in the family was gone. Do you think it was sincere emotion on Robin's part or was it performative? I think it was performative. I think it was performative also. Yeah. I look at it now and I can't remember how I felt when I first saw it, but when you play it back, it just feels so over the top that

18:37 it feels like a performance. Mhm. But it's interesting because Mary would never say that. Mary would always believe that it's real. You know, like Jen saying that Robin isn't loyal, but Jen's jealous. She would never want Mary to have a relationship with Robin cuz Robin's a threat to her. Cuz Robin is just safe. I have a strong reaction to that, but maybe you do. Um, I mean, I don't think I don't think Jen is jealous of Robin. I I think in no world is in no world is Jen jealous of Robin. I'd like to hear Jen's response to it. Oh, I'm sure I'm sure they'll be talking about Yeah, that's a that's a ludicrous position to have. First of all, I don't think that Robin and Mary ever

19:25 had the connection that Jen Robin's not as Mary is fun. Jen is fun. Robin doesn't feel at least to me, but I don't see her being fun. Like that's not the relationship of fun. So I I I don't think there's a threat there. That's the first thing. The second thing is unfun. The second thing is there is nobody that is less safe than Robin. Yeah. Like this idea that Robin is so safe and Jen's trying to duplicate that is wild. Robin is the one that who who is mistreating her. Robin is the one who you of anybody who's the hardest to trust because she's aligned with Cody and she basically lied to Mary and was like he still loves you 100%. Yeah. A lot of years I was trying to take the

20:10 blame. I was trying to well it's my fault. I need to fix it. Like like and I needed to really learn to let that go. Very icy. I ag I I a I very much agree with that position that much of her life with Cody, Mary took the blame for everything. Yep. We'd go camping and Janelle and I would be sitting there busting our butts, getting breakfast made, cleaning up the mess, and honestly, Robin would be doing her makeup forever and get doing our kids hair. But the question is, did Robin know that that bothered people? Right? Like like Robin's being chastised for it now and you could say, "Okay, well, you're she was self-centered and focused on that cuz that's what Cody wanted." But did Robin know that she was

20:58 being lazy and then others were working? I feel like I feel like probably not. Yeah. I I that's my but still but still there's still those people like in my family there would be someone putting on their makeup wall and then be like oh my gosh how can I help and dinner's already done and out you know be like we needed your help up yeah so you could be you could be selfish and she's self-absorbed self yeah yeah didn't really like someone else was going to prepare dinner she but not malicious non malicious selfish but you still can be pissed off at those people right I feel like when you when you I feel like when you take you do that you always take away culpability somehow. She's not malicious. She's just selfish. I'm not taking I I just think

21:43 that we need to be Yeah. I just I'm just trying to like parse out what's going on. Yeah. But they're still culpable. Yes. I still blame them. Selfish people still suck. And I blame the person I know you you dropped in. Like there was someone in my family. I also don't remove culpability there either. Okay. Christine and I went on our honeymoon. There was no luggage rack. It was in a four-door sedan. There was no luggage rack. You guys slept in the four-door sedan. No, we There was no luggage rack. This is how he Okay, so now we see how he maneuvers. He doesn't make sense on purpose. So we It's like hard to follow and but now we're seeing it live. But I like that Suki at least is like make she's now doing follow-up questions. There was no luggage rack. It's a four-door sedan. What? Are you sleeping

22:31 in it? Well, no, but that hotel didn't have a I hope they find happiness because the constant comparison is going to spoil their lives. I mean, what do you want to ask me? I mean, I think it's Robin gets the luggage rack. Go Suki. Yeah, exactly. I want to know is what happens with Robin. No, she doesn't. Maybe he doesn't have any other way to respond to that other than some ambiguous thing, right? Cuz he can't say, "Yeah, for sure she does." or no, she if he says no, then he's a narcissist. And he says, "Yeah, he's mistreated." Robin, what do you guess Robin's gonna say here? Is she gonna say she's gonna say she does not get it? I say she says she gets it cuz this is how she maneuvers. Okay. Rack. Yes, I do. You do get the luggage rack. Yep. Wait,

23:17 so how did you know that she was going to say that? Cuz this I think this is how she maneuvers. I I in all honesty, I think she doesn't get the luggage rack, but this is how she You know how there's those people that are always like saying what's happening like like I'm on a ski team, but they're not or they're like liars. What? I don't understand. Yeah, it's kind of a liar to maneuver. Like what? I don't understand. What is she maneuvering? She's she's showing that she's treated well by Cody. Yeah, like I'm the favorite and this is I think this is a pattern. I don't really think she gets a good drag, but I think and her face is this is how she shows this is how she shows status. This is her status. Yeah. Did you not know that it was a pet peeve of theirs? No, I had no

24:03 idea. But in fairness to everybody, if it was a pet peeve, I'm just saying like in a healthy relationship, Janelle, Mary, and Christine should have said to Cody, "I want the freaking luggage rack." Right? You shouldn't be annoyed with it, gossiping amongst yourselves, but never tell Cody. Mhm. Why the hell is Christine sitting there talking to her fiance like about her ex? I I disagree. I think that it's totally healthy for Christine. You Chris Christine is talking about the last 30 years of her life or 20 whatever it is. 30 How long were they together? 30 years. Mhm. You're going to talk about your how often we talk about your childhood with your partner. You're going to share about exes and it's a I

24:52 think it's totally normal. And I don't I feel like you like he never liked you and has said it and like you're not going to complain about that. Come on. I think she's shirts about it now. And she's also working. She's also But she's also I do think that Mary likes to be I think she's trying to be noble and she does like to be the favorite ex-wife. M. So, what did you think? I thought it was boring. I thought it was super boring. I think that there's there they stretch it to to four tell alls. I think we just needed three. Yeah. I'm hoping the last one is good. I think the significant things is we saw both we saw in real time Cody and

25:37 Robin how they maneuver people and they're not good at it. I would have been like like you saying nothing and confusing everybody is not saying anything. Mhm. And then Robin I got the luggage rag every time. I don't know. I'm perfect. I don't know why that is. I always get the luggage rag. Anyway, um don't forget to join our members only where we're going to go episode by episode. We're gonna we're gonna we'll do it for two I'm committing to two months. So that'll be it'll be eight episodes. See if we like it. We'll see if people want to watch it. Um but yeah, so do that. I think we'll probably start posting them I think next this upcoming week. Yeah, we got to remember

26:23 why we fell in love with the sister wives and it was in those first seasons. And I never watched them. You have never seen. And then you're going to be like, "Oh, I get why Allison would want to be the fun wife." All right. So, like, subscribe. Members only. Okay. Good night.