The Healing Power of Forgiveness

0:00 Rise and shine and welcome back to Light Me Up. I'm your host, Brandon Bryant, and I'm standing in deep gratitude that you've chosen to be here with me today. Have you ever found yourself holding on to something or someone longer than you probably should? That tightness in your chest, that heavy memory you can't seem to shake, that one moment you replay over and over in your head like a broken record. Well, today on Light Me Up, we're going to dive into one of the hardest and most healing things we can ever do. Forgive. Whether it's forgiving someone who hurt you, forgiving a past version of yourself, or

0:45 simply learning to whisper, "I forgive myself." This episode is going to be for you. We're going to explore what forgiveness really is and what it isn't. We'll examine questions like how to move forward when the apology never comes. learn how to protect your peace and how to love yourself enough to let go. So, dear lights, take a deep breath with me because this moment right here just might be the beginning of your healing. And if you stick around until the end of the episode, because I'm a music lover, I'll share with you my vibe of the week, a new segment, a song that's been

1:31 noodling around in my head this week. Soon I'll put a playlist together of albums that and records that I mention. But before we dive into today's episode, take a moment with me to hit that like and subscribe button so you can get up to date to any episodes I put out and feel free to share this with anyone who may need a reminder to exhale and release. Now, let's dive in. Lately, I've been sitting with the idea of forgiveness. It's powerful. It's transformational and honestly it can be downright hard. How do we begin to be transformed by the power of forgiveness? Now, let's make something clear right now. Forgiveness is not

2:17 weakness. Let's flip it and reverse it. As Missy Elliot would say, forgiveness is not weakness. Instead, I like to think of it as a deep sign of strength, courage, and vulnerability. Forgiveness creates a pathway to restoration. And sometimes it's a step forward and a step toward reconciliation, but that requires two willing hearts. And let's be real, not every story has that ending. Forgiveness is not one of those things where we say la dah, everything's fine and back to normal, and we just carry on pretending as if nothing ever happened. That's not what forgiveness is. It doesn't mean

3:04 forgetting. Forgiveness doesn't mean inviting harmful energy back into your life. However, I believe we should be pairing forgiveness with wisdom. Now, Brandon, what do you mean by that? It means we can forgive the people who have wronged us or done us dirty and still not allow that person's energy or their negativity to continue to bring toxicity to us and remain a presence. They don't get that privilege. Maybe you're listening today in your car or on the subway or doing the dishes and you're carrying around the weight of resentment, the weight of anger or bitterness. You know, the old, well, I'll show them attit attitude. Guess

3:50 what? The breaking news is they're not even thinking about you. And sometimes they don't even know they hurt you. They're blissfully carrying on with their lives, having a grand old time. You know what we do? We see their social media posts. They're smiling. They're laughing. Toes are in the sand. Sipping margaritas in Margaritavville. And here you are over here stewing and about to fry an egg on your head. Babe, you're not hurting them. Trust and believe you're not. We can quietly forgive and still love people from a distance and not give them the permission structure to hurt you again. We can forgive and

4:37 still choose boundaries. Now, let's focus the lens towards yourself for a moment. Are you still processing a self-inflicted emotional wound from your past? Or maybe you're holding on to the guilt of something you did to yourself in your past and can't quite find the words to say, "I forgive myself." Well, I'm here to help you. Now, let's say it together. I forgive myself. One more time. I forgive myself. Honor yourself today with that gift and every day until it starts to heal your soul from the inside out. This is

5:23 transformation. Now, let me give you a quick story. When I was a kid, I was playing around with my brothers in the living room and my mom had this lovely brass plant stand with a delightful pot and a gorgeous plant to boot. I wasn't really paying too much attention at the time. Let's just say my cat-like reflexes didn't quite kick in, and I accidentally broke one of my mom's favorite plant stands. I was inconsolable, crying, and I'm talking humongous crocodile tears. People, I was being so dramatic. I kept rocking back and forth, repeating, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." As I'm cleaning up the dirt off the floor and sniffling all

6:10 the way to church for evening service, I remember thinking to myself back then, I'm never going to forgive myself for this. And sometimes, even now, I think about how hard I was on myself. It still hits me to this day. That example is something pretty minor in the grand scheme of it all, but it's really something how that stuff lingers with us, right? That's how powerful self forgiveness is or the lack of it. When we withhold forgiveness from ourselves or others, we hold ourselves captives from peace. Think about it this way. You're a cardiac patient. You keep going back and eating the greasiest food. I'm talking

6:57 the most rubbish five course meal ever, clogging up your arteries and repeating it every single day. You're gonna end up in the hospital, right? Eventually, something's got to give. You're quickly on your way to cardiac arrest, honey. Hear me well. Unforgiveness is emotional cholesterol. Unforgiveness is like junk food. It clogs up your spirit and weighs down your joy. Let it go, Louie. You deserve better. Let's get those emotional arteries unclogged and insert a stent of forgiveness that will open up the pathway to your recovery. Okay, my loves, before we wrap up today, I want

7:42 to take a moment to review some answers to real questions you might have about forgiveness. You know, the kind we've all ponder. Whether you're on a walk, dropping your kids off at practice, or just sitting with this moment, this part is going to be for you. Think of it as a warm cup of something good for your heart. First question, how do I even start forgiving someone who really hurt me? Now, that's a big one, and I just want you to breathe with me for a second. Forgiveness starts within, not with the other person. As I mentioned earlier, it's not pretending the pain didn't happen. It's not letting them off the hook. It's saying, "I'm ready to

8:29 stop letting this pain define how I feel every day." And you know what? You don't have to rush it. You don't have to have all the answers. Just start here. I am open to the possibility of healing. Now, that's powerful place to begin. Next question. But they're not sorry. Sometimes we wait for an apology that may never come. It does hurt. But here's the tea. Forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. You can let go without inviting them back into your life. You can protect your peace and still choose love. You're not saying

9:15 what happened is okay. You're saying I deserve peace more than I deserve to carry around this pain. And that, my light, is strength. Next question. What about forgiving myself? Listen, I need to have you hear me on this one. This one might be the most sacred of them all. You are not your past. You are not your worst moment. You are in the process of evolving every day. Every single day. Now try saying this out loud again. I forgive myself. Let that become your anthem. Not shame, not regret, but grace. You're allowed to be soft with yourself. And last question, how do I

10:01 know when I've truly forgiven someone? The best way I can describe it, you're going to remember, but it's not going to sting the same way. Forgiveness doesn't erase the story. It just removes the weight of carrying it every time it comes up. You'll feel it when you've released the grip. When you stop rehearsing the pain over and over in your head, and you'll realize this thing no longer has power over you. So, wherever this meets you, may it meet you gently. And if you're not ready yet, that's okay, too. Forgiveness is a process, sweet one. You're allowed to take your time. But remember this, you deserve a life that's

10:50 light. You deserve a heart that's whole. And it all begins with one brave, quiet choice to let go. This is light me up. And I want to thank you again for the privilege of your time. If your heart was moved by this episode, I would love to hear from you. Join the party in the comment section and continue the conversation. DM the show on Instagram at lightmeupodcast or me directly at shinewithbrand. Whether you listen on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or watching on YouTube, please give the show a like, comment, and subscribe. It really helps more people find this show. To learn

11:36 more about the pod or catch up on past episodes, visit lightmeupodcast.com. And because you stuck around until the end, here's my vibe of the week, Don Henley's Heart of the Matter. Drop the needle on that one this week, folks. Join me right here next week for another episode. And as always, keep shining your light. [Music]