Full transcript of “Shake, Rattle & Roll | ALF | FULL Episode: S3 Ep25”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:02 laughs a great orange Hunter stalks his prey oh he sees it The elusive loin of pork the most prized catch in the frigidary jungle what's this elf don't eat this why would I eat this ever so deftly the great orange Hunter Maneuvers his weapon once in position he strikes
0:48 [Music] whoa okay I won't eat pork foreign [Music]
1:46 foreign [Music] Alf oh are you in here he's not in the Attic look at this man Alf this was his first Quake poor little
2:32 fellow he must be terrified are you okay he doesn't look good looks like he's in shock elf say something anything Armageddon Annihilation white hot tentacles of Doom spit fire Venom screeching help me help me help me some Devastation apocalypse thanks Willy now I'm blind your eyes are closed oh let me help you oh this may stagger your imagination a wit but I had nothing to do with this mess we know well we know you do we had an earthquake
3:18 I see and it was a good one what was good about it why do we have it what was it well let me see if I can explain it I'll see the crust of our planet is made of plates of layered rock that are in continual movement now when the pressure beneath becomes too great it's released thank you Mr Wizard the short Strokes please do you remember when Godzilla destroyed Tokyo inheriton followed some basic safety rules will he get the Ledger Kate has more rules
4:05 I'll get in the kitchen oh that is stay in the kitchen oh hi Raquel hey Kate we had an earthquake so did we how's Lynn Ellen's fine does she need comforting it's just fine because if she does fine to hear it so where's Trevor on the porch come on in is this structural Trevor I've never seen you like this oh Trevor it's it's going to be all right it's going to be all right Trevor this
4:51 is making me very uncomfortable I'm just traumatized well we'll be on our way we just wanted to make sure that you were okay say hi to Lynn and everybody for me Trevor you'll be fine you think so of course with the proper professional assistance is this thing structural you know in a way that jolt we had last night was probably a very good thing if you enjoyed it that much why not just strap a lightning rod on your head and wander around in the rain
5:38 what will he means is that it's reminded us to come out and check our supplies it says here that we should have a half gallon of water a day for each of us so for two weeks that makes 35 gallons hey 25 gallons of water wait I have questions why do we need so much bottled water well that's in case our water supply becomes contaminated what about food we have a two-week supply of food we have peanut butter we have granola bars evaporative milk canned meat fish we had a sweet supply of peanut butter granola bars no canned Meat and Fish it
6:24 was nowhere near a two-week Supply I ate it in 37 minutes now if those were our survival rations and I survived now you know they work restock foodstuff padlock foodstuffs [Applause] [Music] I uh sell a truck outside I guess the extra water we ordered came oh yes water came last load thank you
7:11 476 dollars I'm afraid we didn't order this much water you got a Gordon Shumway at this address just once I was hoping that just once it might be a legitimate mistake I say I don't suppose there's a chance you could take a couple dozen of these back let's pick up I'm delivery well goodbye or as we like to say I'll Reservoir what'll it be cup of soup cocoa with teeny marshmallows or maybe just the straight stuff straight up
7:56 I know that look I find it unsettling [Music] Alf oh hi Willie what are you doing hammering could you be a little more specific hammering Nails why are you nailing your bed to the floor well it wouldn't make much sense to Scotch tape it now would it Al's nailing your bed down isn't going to help you during an earthquake it'll keep me from sliding down the stairs
8:41 then I'm running a bumper around the bed for shock absorption and underneath in case of a tidal wave pontoon I'm telling you Willie this bit is going to be the safest place in the house Alf I really don't I know what you're going to say and I could put you in one of these babies for 99.95 yes that's 99.95 come into the doorway I'll be safer in here [Music] two seconds later and I would have had the weight of the world where my head used to be no Alpha that's only a globe
9:28 that wouldn't have hurt you don't you see Willie it's a sign no matter what you do no matter how many precautions you take sooner or later this planet is going to get you oh take it easy help you'll be fine yeah but for how long face it Willy Earth is hazardous to your health [Music] I know this is hard for you to understand bro it's hard for me to understand too sometimes it's Bert convy sometimes it's
10:13 Vicki Lawrence sometimes it's Sally Struthers but no matter who hopes it's always win lose or draw that's a load off my mind it's open all right guys morning Jake hi hi Jake so how did your uncle Trevor handle that Aftershock last night not too well he started sleeping in the doorway oh that's just silly I know but at least he wakes up with the morning paper handy Willy just let me look at you Kate funny
10:58 special Kate Lynn boy boy you're a woman now Brian is this the little boy I carried and Jake what is a friend a friend is Jake let's all just be you want to stay for breakfast uh the complex parade that is life Alf is this something we should be asking you about it's simple oh my willy last night's narrowly averted tragedy
11:45 gave me pause I thought you already had pause witty Urbane Lynn was it gave me pause to think think I've been trying to escape my fate but it's no Escape if an earthquake doesn't get me a monsoon might or an avalanche or a firestorm or food poisoning what is your point my point is any breath I draw could be my last so I'm going to savor every moment I have left there goes one now
12:35 along with me I've simply adopted a new eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we croak it's just an expression Brian all be it a mangled one are you sure you're all right Alf I'm fine in fact I'm perfect come on everyone let's all join hands for a chorus of Kumbaya [Laughter] okay [Music] okay I should have stuck with Latin
13:21 lenaissance my lovely flower of spring seeing you brings a lump to my throat not unlike a goiter that's gross all right a bunion I really don't have time for this I've got to learn this French plus I've got a history final tomorrow history is history what's important is today no this moment Savor Lynn look Alf if I don't study today I'll be savoring failure about 9 45 tomorrow morning Templars will it take for you to see the light we've only had two well perhaps I'm more introspective than you
14:08 Lynn take a tip be here now you take a tip B gone now I take my leave if you need me I'll be out with God watching Brian grow right oh and Lynn I love you what if I topped out into moving someplace where it's safe like where I don't know Kansas you could be blown away by a tornado how about Hawaii
14:54 the volcanoes will get you Canada blizzards Florida old age so live Brian live because sooner or later [Music] Brian oh Jake Jake less than a brother more than a friend have you been yeah yeah I've been savoring life left and right that's good because life is like death row and every day you live is a stay of execution until the one day when the big governor in the sky doesn't make that phone call I think I'll go inside for a while okay
15:41 B hey Savor your parents for me oh and Brian what I love you laughs don't you think you might be scaring the kid scaring him I'm teaching him how to enjoy life have it your way oh Jake in case this is the last time we see each other you cut out all this last time stuff I'm just slip into the in the tub choke on your dinner fall down the stairs trip over the dog accidentally flush yourself I'll come back when you're in a better mood Oh Hey Jake I love you and I mean that truly Brian
16:32 hi Dad Brian I'm under here we've been looking all over for you what are you doing under the bed this is where I live now what this way of anything happens I'll be safe safe from what oh everything it's no good keeping things like this inside if something's bothering you it's important to tell somebody about it I agree honey I can't but why are you talking to Brian's bed hi Mom Rye what are you doing under there it's the only place he feels safe
17:18 Brian why are you so frightened it's tomorrow we crowd why does that sound familiar listen Brian uh none of us is going to croak for a long long time you can't be sure no but I can be almost sure and I'll tell you something I am sure of if you spend your whole life worrying about all the bad things that could happen you're gonna miss all the good things that will happen oh there you guys are I want to savor you oh good good you can start with Brian he's under the bed what's he doing under there
18:04 have you ever heard of catastrophic expectations of course it's a milwaukeean dating service no Alf catastrophic expectations means you'll live your life fearing the worst so so that's exactly what you've been doing hey if you've got a good thing going I say stick with it we don't care if you stick with it but you're scaring Brian oh he's savoring dust bunnies come on out bee I'm not coming out I'm never coming out extreme there's nothing wrong with living cautiously but if you spend each day
18:52 focusing on mortality each day a little piece of you is going to experience that mortality do you understand me Alf no I do you mean don't be scared of stuff until it happens see Willie why didn't you say that I thought I did all I want to know is does this leave room for savoring of course it does Alf to save her life out of joy not out of fear so what you're saying is we should eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we eat drink and be merry again let's try eat drink and clean up anything is Spill
19:38 why don't you come out from under the bed Bry feeling better a little hey sorry if I scared you B no problem uh you wouldn't want to helmet stays [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh I thought you were delivering that pickup I got a promotion just my luck huh well uh I guess this covers the delivery and the uh 35 gallons we are keeping it and the pickup you throw a little something in here for my chiropractor
20:24 yeah well thanks for everything hey is all my water gone yes thankfully well it's too bad I had a great idea want to hear about it another specially fine but without the water slide I don't think Tanner land is going to catch on foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music]
21:38 foreign
