Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me — An Exclusive Conversation | Apple TV+

0:00 ♪♪ We are here to celebrate Selena Gomez, tonight because of this really thoughtful and courageous and quite frankly brilliant documentary film and we are going to do it here at the historic Apple Tower Theatre in Downtown Los Angeles. And we are going to do it with You and the fans and Selena Please welcome, Selena Gomez.

0:45 Thanks, guys. I love you. it is a different kind of Applause, I think, it feels different. Don't you think? I do. I think people have seen my diary so I'm like. It is always so supportive, like, we love you. It is great to see you. This is cool, what a great location for us to Be able to hang out and talk. Thank you so much for being here, this is beautiful. I wanted to start by asking the most obvious human question that we should start every conversation with, which is, how are you? I do not know, actually. It has been weird. The documentary exists and it is

1:31 Out and it has been six years in the making, I have moments where I am relieved and moments where I cannot believe it is out. Is it a good thing, a bad thing? I think I will always have these this internal struggle of figuring out if I am doing the right thing. And it has been validating so far that I am doing something good. and that means the world to me. I know you have not been actively Reading the critical reviews. And why would you, I mean how do you read a review of your life? That is strange. But the reviews are in. Right? Thanks. and rightfully so. This film is just brilliant. We are going to get into it.

2:16 I made you a promise a week ago when we spoke that we would try and have fun because I think there is probably a desire from people who have seen the documentary to ask a lot of questions about what you went through and I can imagine that is the reason you made that documentary to not have to answer those questions again and again. Essentially, yeah. But that does leads me to the question, why did you make this documentary, from your perspective? I think originally, I thought I was going to make a traditional tour documentary about my music and about the Revival tour. And, as I recognized my mental state at the time I look back at

3:02 that girl and I do not even recognize her anymore. It broke my heart to see myself talking about my body and how it needed to look a certain way. I just felt really bad. I had to cancel that tour. That was the first tour I had to cancel. After 55 shows you had really put the time in already. That most people's just for the record That's most people's full world tours, 55 shows. We were in the middle. And it was really hard because I never ever want to let anyone down. I always want to show up for people. But I knew I could not keep going. I had to stop. Then I picked it back up again and we started to film my trip

3:49 to Kenya and we thought maybe we could do a short about this adventure that we are going on and this experience. Then I had to go straight to London and Paris and I quickly realize that all of this stuff that is going on in my life, it all started with me. How am I feeling? how am I navigating through all of these different things that are going on in my life how am I surviving and ultimately, it is going to be a story about my mental health journey, it is not going to be necessarily a puff piece it is going to show every part of me and that's the good the bad the ugly and the real. I think great documentaries aren't so much reactive I think a lot of them can be that way

4:36 react on periods of life and try to retell that story in an entertaining way that is great to watch. But great documentary films are proactive. And when I watch them, I feel like the subject is learning about themselves. and going on a journey. The documentary is guiding that process more than you are guiding the documentary. Did it feel that way, would you have pushed forward the way that you did? I think so, I would like to believe, that Alec, and I had a relationship where even in the weakest moments when I had a lupus flareup, and it was really painful. he would ask me a few times if I was comfortable being recorded. I thought, I want to be able to show people all of it, so just

5:23 go ahead. That is weird to say, but it also felt like a big relief because I know I am not the only one that is hurting that way. It should be talked about, and it should be seen. But, what about when you saw it? It’s done thing to be living it and experiencing it, you have this trust with the camera already in life to some degree and understand its role but when you look back at the footage, edited or otherwise it is got to be tough for you. It’s tough for me, it’s tough for us. I have only actually seen it all the way through one time. I, I can’t. I do not think I could watch it again. Did you watch that, basically, like almost for approval? Like I can let this go now? I was there for parts of editing, I could see transitions

6:14 and I knew how the story would be told. when it was all put together it was really hard, it affected me for a couple of days afterwards. and I realized that was not where I was anymore and I did not need to revisit it. That’s a beautiful realization that as well to realize that you have come so far. I know what you mean when you feel sad when you recognize, somebody who is yourself, going through so much pain. its a reflection of the work that you have done since then, but it is kind of bittersweet. You feel for that person. It’s like you have a relationship with yourself. It’s kind of crazy. It is a little weird to be learning, by no means do I have life figured out in any way shape or form I just have a better relationship with my mind.

7:01 None of us will, that is the point. No. I do, genuinely, hope to start a relationship with my mind, and my mental health that I will continue to grow and I will continue to understand more and more. Alec was the director who was behind the camera who else did you need to forget that was there. There were multiple people. We kind of picked up and stopped filming, people were shooting other things. There is a list of names I would have to give you. That is a huge amount of trust. It is interesting, the age of seven, it is very unique, I wonder how you recognize that

7:48 relationship between you and the camera. Something that captures you. Well, I think it’s different because I started as an actress first, having a relationship with the camera and having it be invisible is just naturally part of it. I love being on sets, I love doing shows and films. I thrive in that setting. You actually want the camera to fall in love with the character you are creating. So I love that. Then the flipside is I am walking out of the hospital and there are 12 photographers screaming and wanting a bad angle, a bad picture, to say I’m not doing well or I’m in rehab and then you’re just

8:36 hit with that awareness of cameras. That can throw you off completely. It obviously became unhealthy. I have had to had have different relationships with how it works, even in music videos it is different than being on set. I probably prefer being on set. Of course, that is a part of why you did this because of that false narrative you’ve had to exist with throughout your life. This idea that you have lived multiple lives, there is where you are at any given moment and what we see and the story they choose to tell. That is not reality, that is not the narrative, this film is. Was that a motivation for doing this, did you want people to see it once and for all? Somebody asked me if I shared so much that people are going to

9:25 want more, what is more? I think I've stayed -- I think I have said it all. But I totally appreciated that question. It is The ending of this movie, is me right here and now. I want to talk about tools and where it began, for you to work on yourself. There is an interesting scene in the film where you described being terrified of thunderstorms as a kid. When I first got out, I did not know how I would cope with my diagnosis. What if it happened again?

10:14 What if next time, I did not come back. I needed to keep learning about it, I needed to take it day by day. When I was a kid, I was terrified of thunderstorms. I grew up in Texas and I was so scared that lightning and thunder would mean a tornado is coming. But I learned that storms mean lightning and thunder and the more I learned about it the less afraid I would be it really helped. [applause] That feels like, to me, the beginning of self-help. Would you trace it back to that? Yes. I 1000% would have to give my mom credit for that. I felt so scared of so many

11:02 things in life, because I felt anxious, that I needed to be the best that I could be. My mom was the person who allowed me to be the person I wanted to be, did not judge me, and loved me through it and would give me the information and tools for me to grow. Instead of instilling more fear in me she educated me on the things I was terrified of, and she would give me that strength. That is interesting, it is how you apply it to your life, and how it works for you. What works for you? You know I love yoga, there’s certain things I know that if I don’t do them…

11:48 I’m not good at yoga. That’s for damn sure. I didn’t say I was good at it, but it definitely works for me. What works for you? It is the little things, I just had COVID, I thought, here it comes. I was gonna get a little depressed and go down a spiral. I immediately recognize the little things that I needed to do to get out of it. I decided to change the things that I was watching to things that were well-written and beautiful and happy, I changed the music I was listening to, I wanted to listen to positive things and be inspired. It's something like taking a walk, calling a therapist, calling a sponsor, all of these things that seem so

12:37 minuscule, that you do not think will work or matter, getting up and looking at yourself and being OK with who the person is on the others. I love that you mentioned music, what is on your positive playlist? Oh my God, The new album from Taylor Swift right now. All of it. Flawless. A remarkable body of work. Do you allow music to keep you company when you are sad? 1000%. Essentially, I was raised in a world where our emotions were illustrated by music. My mom grew up listening to

13:24 Patsy Cline, and Joni Mitchell, and Janis Joplin. My dad grew up listening to Other music, like Selena Quintanilla. Who was named after. He had a flair for R&B. I was inundated with so many styles of music. It was a part of my life. I was 11 years old listening to Coldplay or Maroon 5 and pretending that I was in love and I was in a breakup in the car. I would pretend that I felt these emotions. You are not pretending, that is the beauty of it. I was pretend crying.

14:11 When you feel that so vividly as a kid, and we all feel that when we love something. We feel it. And then If you stay feeling that, whenever, 10 or 12 years later, you find yourself doing what, singing a song with Chris Martin. [LAUGHTER] I did not actually put that together. You only get there if you feel it, there is no pretending. That is true. There are incredibly poignant moments when you come home. We have seen this before. We all go home. It is great. You were not just going home to reflect on the experience you

14:58 were searching for purpose there. What was it like, you were visiting friends and neighbors. You catch up with somebody who went to school with you and it feels so full circle, it is crazy. do you know who this is? It is Selena Gomez. My name is Selena. [laughter] The one that you hear the songs of, yeah. [screaming] She is my dramatic one. That is OK. Yes, she is real, she grew up

15:44 down the street from me. Mommy went to school with her. Can I have a hug? Does that make you happy? Yeah. Thank you, I appreciate it. It is good to see you. I am glad that everything is good for you, to see you go through all of that was inspiring. Thank you. I feel better. We love you. [applause] every time I go home I Usually drive by my old neighborhood, just because it feels so good. It reminds me.

16:30 Every time I am home I usually love going to visit people. At that time, I invaded peoples personal space. I could be disrupting neighbors, or with my friends, watching her have children and a totally different life. Thinking I could have that life, I am nowhere near that. It is not a bad thing. You gave her daughter this moment, and she gave you genuine love and concern from someone

17:19 you knew long ago. It was such a lovely human moment. It was the trade gone right. When she said she was happy I was doing well, she means that, it doesn't matter I've become whatever. I am still Selena. We see a strife for a different type of purpose. You found purpose as a young child, and it was successful when during the making of the documentary, did you realize, you were getting to a

18:10 new purpose in life? Getting beyond fame and reaching for something more substantial? Perhaps, it was when I was having downs and I could not hide them. Whether the camera was there or not, I could not get out of my own head. I realized those moments would stop me from creating a great tour, a good year or a good attitude. It was affecting me. I knew we were capturing these moments, this is real, this is what people are walking through, this is bigger than

18:58 what we are worried about. There were multiple moments, where I thought it would be bigger than just me. It begins a really fascinating journey in life when you realize that you want to go and alter your purpose. People around you might not understand what that means. There is a promo cycle, to be fair, they happen all of the time, but you are ready to announce this even in a small way. You want to do something bigger, and it doesn't land. I looked at your face and it does not land, I looked at your face.

19:47 This will take a long time. Exactly. We celebrate you for the work that you have been doing. These mean something to you now. Can you talk how talk about how fulfilling it has been to be in this space? It feels wonderful. It started when I was 14 and I had a single mother come up to me, they were from Mexico in a town close to where my family is from. She said thank you for being who you are, they can -- my children

20:32 can look at someone on TV who looks like them. I did not understand it because I am who I am. Then I recognized the responsibility that I have been given with my platform, I truly felt it was bigger than me. When I had dark moments I would get back up over and over again, it was hard to get up, but if I stood in a fit of pain, I would be letting you all down. I could not live with that. I could not do that. I had to learn how to do that myself. I had to tell people, I cannot

21:20 do that right now. Now I can be the best version of myself for other people. You help others do for themselves. That is what I'm take -- that is what I am taking from the next chapter of your life. It ends with you making a commitment to this conversation. When we met for the first time, I recognize that you were really in this documentary. I felt that and I believe it's

22:06 reflected in the conversation we had. We landed on a subject we are both passionate about, increasing awareness around mental health, and self-help. We are seeing changes and you have been instrumental to making changes happen. I want to give you a round of applause for that. [applause] Thank you so much. I appreciate it. you have started to do the groundwork. How has your experience been, are we going in the right direction, where are we going? Do you feel like it's working? I want to say yes. I don't mind being a person who

22:56 is the voice of mental health, it is who I am, it is my life, I want people to become more comfortable with that conversation and I want it to stop being a label that terrifies people more for people to stop thinking it is not a real thing. If I released this documentary before the pandemic, they may have thought I was crazy. It was interesting to hear, people react to this movie and actually say, I did not know I had that, I struggle with that

23:42 as well. It's no surprise that one of it is no surprise that one of your most genuine songs is your most popular. Now that you understand your truth better than ever, and have the courage to share it. We are waiting for the album of your career. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] No pressure. You set the bar, not me. I'm just acknowledging it. If I am being completely honest, which I have been. It has been really difficult. I am used to just making music.

24:38 Now I am telling stories about people, experiences, now I have to tell these stories and people will ask a lot of questions. They will be happy to get another album. You didn't have -- you did not have a choice before. Everyone decided these were the stories you needed to tell. Every artist on the planet gets To decide how they talk about The relationship. You have just caught up to every

25:25 artist on the planet. Thank God. I feel accomplished. you can do it your way. I have earned it. I do not want to release anything that is not perfect, it is getting there. We are getting to fan questions. My favorite. If I could end the rest of my life asking fan questions. how does it feel to be your True and vulnerable self? I feel like I can relax now. Now you know everything I was

26:16 walking through, you did not judge me, you were there for me constantly. It made me feel normal. I appreciate that. What scene in this film are you most proud of? Probably when I was rehearsing for the AMAs I was not ready. I started to listen to a song. I felt like that was me really Trying to push through something That was difficult. That moment meant more to me. That was me trying to heal.

27:02 It is terrifying to get up and sing. It was such a personal release? It was, it was such a gift. Go and look at any documentary film, the -- there is not a scene in which Selena misses a note. It was great to see you do that. What was the hardest thing for You? probably the tour. It was really honest.

27:49 I had been so inundated with comments about my body. There was a reason I was talking about myself, that way. I did not make that up. I had been told that I needed to look better, dress cooler, my tour was kinda lame, I was trying to be someone I was not, that was happening all of the time, to me. I think that is abusive. I am never going to let anyone make me feel that way. I gained my strength back when I realized, that girl wasn't lame,

28:39 was not lame, she did not need a better body, I am exactly who I am. When I was released from the voice in my life, I did not fall, I rose up. That's -- that is the best part. [applause] Thank you. I know there was a longer edit. for sure. [LAUGHTER] that is not even insider talk, every film has a longer edit. Was there anything you wish you could have gotten in there?

29:32 probably more content with my Fans. Because the pandemic happened, I Canceled my tour. The meet and greets were my only connection to people. Me being here is such a high. I have missed this more than Anything. I can wait to meet all of you and hug you. Not to put too fine a point on it, is this the first time in a long time that you have had this experience? Yes, basically. I am so happy. It feels good. How does it feel to know that you're changing our lives? and making us feel seen when it comes to mental health

30:17 and this question ends with I love you I love all of you. If I am able to help one person with this, I am on cloud nine. I hope I am remembered by my heart. Simply wanting to see people for who they are and love them truly, authentically, and does purely as possibly I can. [applause] In this beautiful Apple Tower

31:09 Theatre in downtown Los Angeles, I want to honor the fact that you get to see your fans for the first time in a very long time. We just came out of the crazy few years. This would not have been Possible. What you went through made it Seem further away. I wanted to give you a chance to Talk to your fans directly And say something to them. And we can and like that. I will end up talking your ear off when I meet you. Because I like that. Me releasing this was one of the most terrifying things that I have done. I am so grateful that people like you are able to watch it,

31:58 if a friend is walking through something, that you are able to be a voice for them. I know it is such a cliché, and at the end of the day it is just me, my core friends, and us. I want to continue to be the best version of myself that I can and to love you guys fully and truly for who you are because you do that for me. Thank you, so much. [applause] ♪♪ Watch the film now with your Apple TV+ subscription on whatever device you stream,

32:44 on your Apple TV, MacBook, Smart TVs, game consoles, connected devices, Roku, or Amazon Fire. Look for the Apple TV App. If you do not have it go to the App Store on your device and download it.