Full transcript of “Psycho Family Golfing”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:00 come on will you hurry up we're running out of daylight oh wow Jesus you know how much they cost are you kidding me I'm trying my best here no you're not why didn't you upside down you guys are just waiting around and there's like 30 clubs in here well you're 30 up aren't you I mean there's like 20 handles why is a bag of 20 handles on it there's two handles and a strap this is a [ __ ] job people make good money doing this yeah well it's not something I want to [ __ ] do so well we got to do something let's go hurry up I don't even know how to grab this I've never held this ship before and it's heavy and I'm like the weakest one here just grab the handle there's
0:47 20 here we go here we go and there's a [ __ ] pile of rocks here like it's like [ __ ] more why don't you walk around them I don't see why I have to carry two bags and you guys are just standing there waiting what is this the world's worst this is how everybody starts out here let me take yeah so you actually had a carry [ __ ] bags yeah there see why didn't why did I have to go 10 ft just for [ __ ] this cuz I don't want you to bang him in the side of my truck now come on get in we actually can we go mini golf no no mini golf you're going to learn get in get this [ __ ] over with is this my sleeping bag from Eagles Landing yeah I had to cover up all the goddamn dog hair would you rather sleep sit in the dog hair I
1:34 don't [ __ ] ever cor come on are you going to be like this the whole time it smells like dick in here no it smells like the nasty ass dogs they just count on a kennel have you swung a golf club before I swung mini golf I swung mini golf which is what I [ __ ] would rather be doing right now that's a puttting game it's I don't care about golf I don't see why I need to go to this [ __ ] [ __ ] I mean if this is your idea of fun sure didn't start out as fun though but may end up as fun I mean it's not like I'm actually [ __ ] playing I'm just allowing you guys to play so [ __ ] me right just quit bitching about it you are the biggest Min I've ever heard of my life oh you oh
2:19 you carry the bags Jeffrey he's carried them before we've been out numerous times and that's you're carrying bags in your eyes and I actually never dropped all of them onto a concrete pack oh I'm sorry are they expensive just like my [ __ ] video games that get destroyed have you been to a sporting goods store I don't no what did each bag was no reason to be there hear me nothing everything's going digital it's not even going to be stores in like 2 years stupid it'll be stores yeah okay each one of those golf bags is roughly around $1,000 with everything in it well you just [ __ ] turned you just took the turn too hard and now they all got scratched up so well they're in a bag I didn't drop them on a concrete
3:04 I've never I don't know what I'm doing it's not that hard gas pedal right on the left I've never driven a golf cart before it's like a car gas pedal right brake left Jeffrey do they [ __ ] drive golf carts on the roadways is that something have you seen that it's the same concept though concept Jesus well I don't know some [ __ ] machines have different controls I don't know if shit's inverted or shit's [ __ ] default regular well don't screw this up like you screwed up the chipper all right okay well that's drive straight that's all you got to do I [ __ ] can drive straight I don't know so is it on it's on yes on the right there you go oh all right okay let's get moving come on run out of daylight I don't know what I'm [ __ ] doing just run behind us come on corn get on this is crazy dude there no there's no seat
3:50 belts in this [ __ ] dude where is he going I in the [ __ ] what is the green isn't this green holy [ __ ] dude dude I don't dude I drive these shits in GTA but like it's like nothing even like this how do you stop how do you stop how do you stop brakes on the left that says Park not two pedals there you go now push the top top part and we'll put the break okay you don't have to talk to me like I'm a [ __ ] baby well you're acting like a baby
4:35 no come on let's go okay so I turn it off now nope you can leave it on I just leave it on okay so why well don't you [ __ ] start a whole one no I bypass that one cuz there's people over there I don't want you embarrassing us I'm not even playing it doesn't matter cuz you'll do something Jeffrey looks like a [ __ ] baseball coach I think that's [ __ ] embarrassing enough what's embarrassing is you don't have any golfers etiquette you're not supposed to be talking loudly golfers etiquette dude this is not trying to oh that's too bad don't want to [ __ ] up this is like the most [ __ ] try hard sport this is so [ __ ] pathetic it's very serious oh then there should be no problem very what come on get over here what does that supposed to
5:21 mean this is what it's all about out here look at this look at the scenery you're out in the middle of nature you can't beat this I've been out here numerous times a deer running all over the place rabbits everything you get out here and youjo yourself you try to hit them too yeah couple ducks come across you swing your Club you hit the ball at them yeah it's pretty cool you understand what I'm getting at you got to get out of the house nothing better than this this is like the oldest sport around I've played golf dad I playf you said mini golf no Mario that is that doesn't even count how' the club so I know all the [ __ ] rules so don't even start that you should have no problem being able to swing and hit one just as hard as Dad might yeah you ought to be out here and enjoying yourself do you want to come
6:07 out here more sure Dad would love to cuz in your future when you have a job you're going to have to kiss that boss's ass you're going to have to go out and golf and then you're going to have to lose to him probably 80 to 90% of the time but if you go out there and you look half ass you're not going to get that promotion you're not going to get that raise right you hear me yeah cuz there's promotions on YouTube though no I'm talking about a real job not that make believe [ __ ] okay all right all right you hit the [ __ ] ball or is this half the game just talk [ __ ] now watch look look contact Club ball this is what it's all about all right pay attention [ __ ] did you say something what was that your practice s what the [ __ ] you said something when I
6:54 swing it didn't you I didn't say anything don't you know atate you're not supposed to talk I heard you are you serious you just [ __ ] there that's how it's done that first one was a mulligan you did that on purpose first thing you got to do dud I just heard this [ __ ] for you got no you got to line up the club with your dick okay it's like a big dick right that's what you got to do with it and you got you got to see that ball there imagine I'm imagine it's your face imagine the ball is my face yeah okay yeah cuz I'm just going to whack the piss out of it is this etiquette him [ __ ] making jokes like this I didn't swing yet so you have to
7:40 shut up when I swing both you cut it out come on just swing to Club you don't to get dark you're not a big swinger dude you're [ __ ] you're big dick can't even [ __ ] aim right what the hell messes up everybody messes up what the hell that te up another one dude that went on the like pavement I don't even think that's there's a name for that no I lost it it went it went clear down there all right it's all right honestly it's probably in the wood line and I'm just going to have to take a drop then you guys come out here like every month like what the [ __ ] no it's it it's like right around that tree pile right there so I'll just take a drop there if it's not there and then it'll be fine so we
8:27 got to we going to have some [ __ ] fun watch this this dude this is like [ __ ] golf Wars dude oh here we go oh I wish I had dude it's like Mario Kart Double Dash it's like Mario Kart Double Dash Jeffrey watch this [ __ ] watch this [ __ ] dude it's like Mario Kart Double to start throwing like turtles [ __ ] away from me get flat tire oh oh [ __ ] acting like a [ __ ] [ __ ] yo calm down dude holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] dude he's angry calm down Jeffrey oh my god dude Roid Rage holy [ __ ] dude oh my
9:13 God not only sucky golf but he's like [ __ ] angry you're [ __ ] embarrass you have to be angry to golf [ __ ] embarrassment oh sorry I'm out here all the time don't embarrass me oh you friends with these guys is how you move up in the ranks yep all right how work I'm just [ __ ] having fun right you're having fun Yep this ain't Mario Kart n it's not Mario Golf either but game you got to you got to do the right thing here it's actually more fun in real life so jeez dude can't [ __ ] have fun dude I don't know what this [ __ ] [ __ ] looks like they all [ __ ] look the same it's all metal [ __ ] balls
9:58 and [ __ ] I don't know what it looks like I the nine iron pick up the nine iron you can't miss that can you yeah does it have a nine on it I they're all iron or some [ __ ] I think from Minecraft's n you both needed nine iron I thought you need I thought you needed a wood or some [ __ ] no it's 150 to the center Green I need a n you're talking about your dick being whatever okay nine iron wait down what does it have a line under it or is it not oh my God like a little under it is it a n does the nine have a a line under or is it the six I don't give it [ __ ] dude are we going to get two all right I'm just bringing [ __ ] both and you can decide which ones you want I don't know if it
10:43 has a line under or not I can't hear you [ __ ] literally we could have just drove the [ __ ] golf carts up here so let me guess a six and a nine you got yeah cuz Jeffrey [ __ ] likes that that F 59 which one I don't know which one you want that one is one you want see this is when it look at you it's a six okay what do I I don't take it back there you go sir don't [ __ ] hit me with a ball wait till I put this back I don't want another brain injury hustle J little bit of a hustle here dude why would I hustle cuz I'll [ __ ] give you a clim you're not even going to make [ __ ] dude you barely made contact with that [ __ ] hurry up
11:36 hold on hold on why don't you just go hide behind a tree I why would I just go home how about I ride can you hide in a little dollhouse cor how about each take a [ __ ] car and ride home we can do that ride a little dollhous it's not a dollhouse it's a what wait is that snow con melted what doing I don't did you get my club huh why he use JT's Club who cares oh straight out there though it's all
12:22 right it's all right you just a chip away you're good oh that's all right me not getting the right Club is [ __ ] you're I'm dead to you but when when Jeffrey [ __ ] I was slightly Shanks the [ __ ] out of it I did not shank the [ __ ] out of it I'm slightly to the right at least you're heading straight man come on yeah we're good see we're good straight as an AR just a chip away did you see it yet no what do you mean no what are you doing I'm feeling around for it and it feels like I'm in septic it probably is septic don't [ __ ] say that [ __ ] get a club head do why I'm the only one actually feeling around in this muck for the balling a bunch of dirt I mean if it's white ball and it gets
13:08 covered in I can't use a club head I don't have a club head I can't I can't find it I got a whole bag of balls in the car go get them are you kidding me it's all the way [ __ ] across the pond almost was a run [ __ ] go get the goddamn [ __ ] what the [ __ ] hear me [ __ ] go would you step in a ground hog hole F in the bag in the bottom pouch I already told you that earlier the one on the
13:55 right can't miss him I got him pull your pants up oh I'm sorry are you winded why didn't we just drive the [ __ ] golf carts out here oh did Mario Golf not prepare you for this why may [ __ ] shot and didn't get into the [ __ ] water why didn't you just drive it over then Jesus [ __ ] I'm sorry I'm clearly not made for this [ __ ] drop a [ __ ] ball hole there's a behind you okay I'm coming set that ball right there come on Jesus [ __ ] what did you I'm sorry Jesus I'm sorry I'm sorry when we get home this is going to be your ass you hear me
14:40 you worthless piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry pick them up now Jesus a [ __ ] ruin a wet dream it's almost goddamn dark out and you're sitting here pill farting around bring a whole goddamn bag of [ __ ] balls here and you drop them all right there in the water you want to no my [ __ ] club's in the water pick them up what are you doing are you you what are you still going to no I'm not shooting it anymore okay pick it up let's go back to the car wait till your little ass gets home tired of this [ __ ] [ __ ]
15:27 embarrassing oh you shouldn't have thr into the yeah I shouldn't have done a lot of sh you shouldn't have dumped them [ __ ] balls there either [ __ ] 10 minutes for you go back and get the [ __ ] ball drop them all here's another one there's a hole did you drop balls the entire time you're running back there's a hole in there's another one just dropped another one too come on Jus Christ did your balls drop yet Jeffrey oh you think it's funny to make a joke now after he just [ __ ] up our entire day went continuously just [ __ ] it up why you continually do this [ __ ] I don't know I don't know I just [ __ ] everything up is this on purpose sure looks that way now this is your car shop you want to think it through you want to be the ball right up at the top of the hill you want to get
16:13 to the red flag look at the red flag that's your aiming spot okay don't aim too far above it or below it let the ball bounce off the hill you'll hit the hill and then you'll roll right down in the top a perfectly got a good stance choke up a little bit on that club I think that'd be a good idea dad will you shut the [ __ ] up please all right on your own [ __ ] God [ __ ] [ __ ] that was all right that was all right take another one come on that was that was that was a gim take another you got you got another one one one want just set it down do it again
16:58 You' be all right all right take your time choke up a little bit this time you got this seen you do it before this is par [ __ ] God damn it got to take a little off the swing dud if you drank less protein before today you you pro set your [ __ ] M you another ball just saying man we got
17:57 this M so horny the [ __ ] is your [ __ ] problem [ __ ] godamn [ __ ] game jit the [ __ ] are you laughing at you know you're not supposed to [ __ ] talk people [ __ ] down calm the you're not supposed to talk when other people are trying to S get a test the true skill if you you're [ __ ] [ __ ] n n dude you're the [ __ ] you broke your club now you're never going to dude yo are you [ __ ] high right now are you [ __ ] high what are you talking about what are you talking about Jeffrey you're [ __ ] what are you saying your [ __ ] eyes look like [ __ ] are you stoned right now what are you
18:44 doing Jeffrey are you doing drugs what the [ __ ] is this are you are you [ __ ] kidding me you're directing us I'm about to start ripping off my clothes right now you [ __ ] you're really you're directing us [ __ ] high what are you this is this what the [ __ ] no no you just [ __ ] up a perfectly good scene we don't have a [ __ ] club for that now but you're doing drug huh you're [ __ ] high and directing us what are you talking about this is exactly how I didn't want to get involved in this [ __ ] it's the [ __ ] I'm not [ __ ] high are you serious tell that golf cart scene like you usually tell us everything like that you're script you just [ __ ] up a really good [ __ ] scene but I can't believe [ __ ] up and you're [ __ ] up midle [ __ ] up you're [ __ ] are you kidding me you are I don't I don't need [ __ ] [ __ ] what the I didn't even
19:30 notice that but now now that you mentioned it you do yeah that's [ __ ] accusation okay are you telling me it's false then cuz you look [ __ ] high as [ __ ] right now I can't believe you brought us out here and you're high you [ __ ] you dude yeah [ __ ] me where you going sh F [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] you get back here come on this exact I'm not [ __ ] high I'm not [ __ ] high okay yeah it looks like it now I can't believe we're out here doing these scenes he hot this is exactly why I didn't want to get involved in this where the hell's he going Park you got any ideas I have no [ __ ] clue man he's got
20:18 problems we all just going to go back on your cart I guess we can pack three on here I guess he's done okay hell I'm done what's Su series okay whatever I'm done it's over crap I don't even [ __ ] like this is like my second time ever playing [ __ ] do this God I can't believe this all right let's pile the hell in here I I I guess I'll hang on the back we can get three in here I think we got to find out where he's going he's going to be [ __ ] lost in here is he talk to you much about this you know justing I don't talk that much yeah I know but still come on park it in here let's try to get out of here look right in his eyes [ __ ] pupil I can't believe all this [ __ ] we're doing and then he's
21:08 doing do you know anything about it no dude I have no idea how was he when you guys when ever to film in Poconos I mean he's been acting funny but he tried to stop it there but he's always been dead set against alcohol and drugs and I can't understand where what he's what's happening yeah I've never seen it like that actually what the friends I I know that look I don't even see him around here I don't know where the hell he went it's
